Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday! How I *love* Wednesdays in
  Philadelphia! Why? You guessed it: It's "Worst Joke Wednesday" on
  Eagle-106 Radio once again. Not a bad crop this week so you only need a
  moist hanky instead of a respirator (like last week) to survive the
  stench.
 
  RUNNER-UPS THIS WEEK:
 
  Q: Did you hear about the Indian woman with dyslexia?
  A: She wore the dot on the back of her head.
  [ Hmmm...where did I put that respirator?]
 
  Q: What is a lepers favorite rock song?
  A: "Footloose"
  [ *Cough*Gasp* ]
 
  Q: Did you hear that Kraft Foods is opening a new factory in Jerusalem?
  A: It's making "Cheeses of Nazareth".
  [ This was my favorite one. ]
 
  THIRD PLACE JOKE AND WINNER OF A "NUT-HUT" SHOWER CAP:
 
  Q: What do you call two skunks having oral sex?
  A: Odor Eaters.
  [ Only 3rd? This was pretty clever! ]
 
  SECOND PLACE GOT A HUNDRED BUCKS! NOT BAD, HUH (ALTHOUGH THE JOKE IS!)?
 
  Q: Where do drunk octopuses end up?
  A: Squid-row.
 
  THIS IS THE *WINNER*! HE GOT TWO FREE TICKETS TO ANYWHERE IN THE
  UNITED STATES. I GOTTA DO THIS JOKE-THING NEXT WEEK MYSELF!
 
  Q: Did you hear about the two Superior Court Judges?
  A: The TRIED each other.
  [ Buh-dum-bump! ]
 
---
   Thomas R. James, GE Aerospace/GESD, Moorestown, NJ USA 609/722-6673
   INTERnet: JAMES@MUPPET.DNET.GE.COM  UUCP: mcnc!muppet.dnet.ge.com!james
           "GE: We Bring Good Things to Life...(yeah, right!)"
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         "WORST JOKE WEDNESDAY" ON PHILADELPHIA'S EAGLE-106
 
*--Runner-ups--*
 
Q: Who were the only two people ever shot in a theatre?
A: Abraham Lincoln and the person in the seat in front of Pee-Wee Herman.
 
Q: What did one leg say to the other leg?
A: Hey, look! Shorty's growing a beard.
 
Q: What kind of meat does the Pope eat?
A: Nun.
 
**-2nd-Place-**
 
Q: What song did the male cow sing to the female cow?
A: "Something in the way she MOOS..."
 
***Winner***
 
Q: What did the man say when his cat got run over by a steam-roller?
A: Nothing. He just stood there with a long puss.
 
---
   Thomas R. James, GE Aerospace/GESD, Moorestown, NJ  USA  609/722-6673
   INTERnet: JAMES@MUPPET.DNET.GE.COM  UUCP: mcnc!muppet.dnet.ge.com!james
           "GE: We Bring Good Things to Life...(yeah, right!)"
=========================================================================
  Worst joke day on Eagle-106 here in Philadelphia was pretty vulgar.
  And no wonder: That major sleaze Danny Bonaduci was a guest DJ. Wasn't
  he in jail? Wasn't he in California? Is there any difference? Does
  anyone know any jokes about him? Anyway, this week's winner got 2 free
  airline tickets to anywhere in the US.
 
  RUNNER-UPS THIS WEEK:
 
  Q: What's the difference between a one-night stand, a mistress, and
     a wife?
  A: A one-nighter says "Do it! Do it"; a mistress says "Hurry up! Hurry up!";
     and a wife says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
  [ Don't gripe at me, a woman told this one. ]
 
  Q: What did the Roman Empire say right before the Middle Ages?
  A: "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
 
  Q: Why did the siamese twins go to live in England?
  A: So the other one could get a chance to drive.
 
  *SECOND PLACE*
  Q: Did you hear about the Italian ghost who liked to party?
  A: He was a "fun-ghoul".
  [ If you don't get it, say it out loud and you will. Sheesh! ]
 
  *GRAND PRIZE WINNER*
  Q: Did you hear about the gynecologist who went to the eye-doctor?
  A: He claimed everything he saw was fuzzy.
  [ I gettin' outta here now! ]